a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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