you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
