College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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