i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
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