man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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