some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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