The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
