so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
why is half of my head shaved?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
