i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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