Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Need sex. Gaining weight.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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