I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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