OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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