i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
