Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
