i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you would pick up someone in the library
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
