Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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