Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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