Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I currently don't understand fingers.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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