So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
