with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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