Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
