does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
