stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
