His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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