I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
