so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just found puke in my bra..
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
