I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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