You're so nebulous sometimes
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
