I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
