I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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