The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
