I can text with my tongue
smell my finger.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize