I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
