I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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