hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize