So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
