I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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