Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
