i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
