Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Randomize
