he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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