They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
