If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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