the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
