Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
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his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
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