you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need to calm my uterus...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
