Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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