Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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