oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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