Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
