If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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