so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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