Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Randomize
